“Every appliance in my house is overpowered. The combined noise of the vacuum cleaner, hair dryer, washing machine and tumble drier can create a din on a level with Heathrow Airport – when it is not snowing, of course. Every gadget I switch on has a super-fast or extra-hot option. When we have guests to dinner, I have to choose between dirtying up the kitchen with cooking fumes or allowing the cooker-hood fan to drown out the conversation.”