Why men who cook are sexy, but those who talk about food are killing their chances.

Once, I was blown off by a guy who makes pickles for a living. We were both alone at a bar in Park Slope one afternoon and he asked me what I was reading. He was an art director or something before but now he spent his days knee-deep in brine. "I love it," he said, doing something weird with his eyes to let me know how sincere he was being. He talked about his pickles for about 45 minutes, during which I was able to conclude not only that they are much more flavorful as a garnish than a subject but that it is possible to have an extremely large ego even while you discuss the merits of canning.